La paresse du Jeudi

(un) week-end: week-end
(un) parking: parking
(un) walkman: walkman
(le) basketball: basketball
(un) téléphone: telephone
(le) football: football, except in the US :-)

Balivernes!

l'avenir (masculine) = future
appartenir = to belong to
se lever = to get up
tôt ('t' is silent) = early
ceux ('x' is silent) = those
L'avenir appartient à ceux qui se lèvent tôt = "the future belongs to those who get up early", literally

Which makes me think of these two:
(une) foutaise and (une) baliverne = nonsense, almost always plural as far as I can tell
C'est des foutaises! = This is nonsense!
BALIVERNES! = NONSENSE!

Super!

super (as an adjective, adverb or exclamation) = great!

ça va ? super! = how are you ? great!
je suis super fatigué (colloquial) = I am very tired
il a été super = he was great

French joke of the day

- Papa, Papa, je peux avoir du chocolat ?
- Sers-toi, il est dans le buffet
- Mais Papa, tu sais bien que je n'ai pas de bras
- PAS DE BRAS, PAS DE CHOCOLAT!

(un) bras = an arm ('s' is silent)
(le) chocolat = chocolate ('t' is silent)
Papa = Dad

Which gives us, roughly:
- Dad, Dad, can I have some chocolate ?
- Sure, it's on the shelf
- But Dad, you know I don't have arms
- NO ARMS, NO CHOCOLATE!

This is a classic, so famous you can say "pas de bras, pas de chocolat!" for pretty much any reason and people know what you mean.

J'ai la frite!

(une) pomme = an apple (the 'e' is silent)
(une) pomme de terre = a potato. (la) terre = ground / earth / land

Pommes de terre frites = French/Freedom Fries. Aka "Pommes frites" or more commonly simply "frites" ('fried')

avoir la frite = to feel great

Le mel français du jour

Today, lets talk about the decision by the French government to ban the use of the word "e-mail".

Here's the deal. Like Quebec has been doing with all English words for a long time, the French have a history of inventing their own neologisms, but mostly for technology-related words. Since we're not known for being a tech-savvy nation, we figured we might as well come up with our own name for other people's inventions so we could pretend we had something to do with it:
(un) ordinateur = a computer
(un) octet = a byte
(un) télécopieur = a fax machine

And it worked, these words now being widely used. In 97-98, when the Internet started to gain momentum (yes, we have Internet in France...it came just a few years after we first got electricity and automobiles), the Académie Française fought back and started introducing more and more new words to instantly replace their English counterparts:
(un) mel = an e-mail
(un) butineur = a browser
and many more, all very funny if you ask me. Even Internet was translated into "la toile" (the web).
But this time, the new generation didn't adopt these stupid new words and kept on using the much sexier 'mail' or 'e-mail'.. So actually, this ban is not really new, it's just a second shot at getting rid of 'e-mail', since 'mel' failed miserably. Bottom line: nothing to be worried about :-)

Tirer

tirer (tee - ray) = to pull.
je tire / tu tires ('s' is silent) / il tire / nous tirons ('s' is silent) / vous tirez (tee -ray) / ils tirent (teer)
(un) tire-au-flanc = a slacker. (un) flanc = a side, for animals and vessels
(un) tire-bouchon = a corkscrew ("a cork-puller")
(un) tire-fesses = a ski lift ("a butt-puller")
à tire-larigot = non-stop

E.g. Ce tire-au-flanc boit a tire-larigot = this slacker drinks non-stop

Des chiffres et des lettres (bis)

Today, let's get the answers to yesterday's word out of the way:

Lettres:
With drawing #1 (R U N E R E F E B) you can make a few words:

• beurrée: buttered. Also slang for drunk (feminine here)
• éburnée: this one is interesting - at first it seems like it is a feminine adjective for someone who lost a testicle (!), but after some research it seems like it has numerous meanings and origins)
• funèbre: funeral (adjective)
• réfréné: held back, refrained

With drawing #2 (C I L O N E T A T) you can make:

• étoilant: that creates stars
• tonalité: a (ring)tone

Chiffres:
Drawing #1: 6 10 3 75 9 2, total 839
Le compte est bon!
75+6=81
81x10=810
810+2=812
9x3=27
812+27=839

Drawing #2: 75 6 3 3 1 5, total 799
The best I got was:
75+5=80
6+3=9
9+1=10
80x10=800

Suggestions welcome!

For those who were wondering what the word in the picture meant:
chiant (shee - an) / chiante (shee - ant') = boring / painful / annoying (adjective)

Des chiffres et des lettres

(un) chiffre (sheefr) = a number. To be exact, a number below 10 or a digit, numbers in general being called "nombres".
(une) lettre (leytr) = a letter.
Des chiffres et des lettres ("Numbers and letters") is a famous TV game show that's been around for about 40 years.

It started as "Le mot le plus long" ("The longest word") in the mid-60s, and in its current version, it consists of two types of challenges:

• In the first challenge (les lettres), each candidate turn by turn decides to pick a random vowel or consonant, until 9 letters have been drawn. Candidates have 30 seconds to assemble the longest possible word using the random letters, whoever comes up with the longest wins the round. "Pas mieux" (nothing better) is how candidates announce they don't have a longer word than their opponent.
  
• In the second challenge (les chiffres), 6 random numbers are drawn, as well as a random total between 1 and 999. Using the 6 numbers and any combination of +, -, x and /, candidates have 45 seconds to come up with a formula that brings them as close as possible to the total. Whoever is closer wins the round. "Le compte est bon" ("the count is exact", literally) is the holy grail of this challenge, meaning someone managed to get the exact total.

The show is so popular, it also exists in a variety of board games and electronic versions.

And now, on for some examples. Let the games begin! Some answers tomorrow.

Lettres:
Drawing #1: R U N E R E F E B
Drawing #2: C I L O N E T A T

Chiffres:
Drawing #1: 6 10 3 75 9 2, total 839
Drawing #2: 75 6 3 3 1 5, total 799

Les jetons!

(un) jeton = a token / a chip
(un) faux-jeton = a hypocrite ("a fake token"). Faux is pronounced like "fo"
avoir les jetons = to be scared

Quel con!

con / conne = stupid (adjective) idiot/jerk (noun). Pejorative. Highly useful.

E.g. "Si les cons volaient, tu serais chef d'escadrille" (Michel Audiard, famous screenwriter) = If jerks could fly, you'd be a squadron leader
voler = to fly, chef d'esquadrille = squadron leader

More quotes from the guy here

Minou minou!

un chat = a cat (the 't' is silent)
un chaton = a kitty
une chatte = a female cat/pussy
un minou = baby talk for kitty

Some interesting expressions:
donner sa langue au chat = to give in (to give one's tongue to the cat)
il n'y a pas un chat = the place is deserted (there's not even a cat)
avoir un chat dans la gorge = to have a frog in one's throat (to have a cat in one's throat)
retomber comme un chat sur ses pattes = to fall on one's feet (...like a cat)
il ne faut pas réveiller le chat qui dort = let sleeping dogs lie (don't wake up a sleeping cat)
s'entendre comme chien et chat = to fight like cat and dog

Bacri / Jaoui

Jean-Pierre Bacri and Agnès Jaoui are a famous French movie dirctor/writer couple. After the success of their play Cuisine et dépendances, that showed the dynamics of a mundane dinner from the kitchen where people meet "backstage" to discuss personal confilcts, they went on to write others, and started adapting them for the big screen, with as much success, and often starring in their creations. Nowadays, while Jaoui focuses on her career as a director, Bacri is still known for his roles of depressed/sad/angry characters that he excels at.
Their latest creation, Comme une image, falls right into that category. And this time it's even playing in US theaters under the title "Look at me".

sage = wise / well-behaved
sage comme une image = to be well-behaved ("to be as quiet as an image")

Méouédoncornicar

Today, the coordinating conjunctions ("conjonctions de coordinations"):

• mais (may)= but
• ou (oo) = or (not to be confused with où = where)
• et (ay) = and
• donc = therefore, so. E.g. Je pense donc je suis = I think therefore I am. Can also be used to reinforce a statement. E.g.: Mais où est-il donc ? = But where on earth is he?
• or = and yet. Marks opposition, sometimes juxtaposition. E.g.: Il dit qu'il était au cinéma, or personne ne l'a vu = he says he was at the movie theater, and yet nobody saw him.
• ni / ni … ni (nee) = neither / neither … nor. E.g. Il n'est ni beau ni laid = he's neither handsome nor ugly
• car = because. It also means "a bus", which I agree is quite confusing.

To summarize, the list of conjunctions is "mais-ou-et-donc-or-ni-car", which sounds like "Mais où est donc Ornicar?" and almost makes sense if you pretend Ornicar is a person (But where on earth is Ornicar ?). That's how young kids are tought to remember those…and it works, apparently...

M'sens tout mou

Flagada or raplapla = exhausted, worn out
2 funny-sounding words for the price of one…I love them

Les repas

Today, meals (repas):

petit-déjeuner: breakfast
déjeuner: lunch
goûter: afternoon snack
dîner: dinner
souper: supper
pique-nique: picnic

E.g. Ce week-end, je vais aller faire un pique-nique dans le parc = this week-end I'm going to picnic in the park

(or if you live in Quebec and try to stay away from English words: "Cette fin de semaine, je vais aller faire un pique-nique dans le parc")

couci-couça

couci-couça = so-so (pronounced koossee-koossa). See also comme ci comme ça

Hihi!

une chatouille (sha-tooy) = a tickle

In baby talk, you can try faire des guilis (guee-lee) or even better yell GUILI-GUILI!

La honte!

la honte = shame. And it is what I feel when shown I made a terrible typo in yesterday's word.
une activité = an activity. Although feminine, there is no need for an extra silent 'e' in the end. My deepest and sincerest apologies. I will be reading a dictionary all day to make up for this.

And one more word for the road
une fois = a time ('s' is silent). Des fois = sometimes, but although the term is acceptable every parent will tell their children that the preferred way is to say "parfois" and correct them when they say things like:

Parfois mes mots deviennent
Ce que je suis et ce que j'aime
J'en oublie même des fois
Ce qui est vrai, ce qui ne l'est pas

(Sometimes my words become
Who I am and what I love
Sometimes I even forget
What is true and what's not)

Aqme - "Être & ne pas être", on their album "Polaroïds & Pornographie"

Zzzzzzz

Today, a word that ranks in my personal top 10:
grasse matinée (first 'e' is silent, rest pronounced as you would expect) = a morning spent in bed. Not sure there is any equivalent in English to this wonderful word, that Google happily translates to "fatty morning"

E.g.
faire la grasse matinée est mon activité favorite du week-end = Sleeping late is my favorite week-end activity.

So have a good week-end, and hopefully try to practice grasse matinée

Let's make fun of our friends from Quebec

Today let's look at how Canadian French (shall I say Québecois ?) translate some English movie titles - where the French are usually too lazy to change anything, and would rather, for once, give up their so-called French cultural exception than open a dictionary:

Clanches: apparently clancher means "to speed up" across the border. So naturally this is a good title for Speed. Also, there are some pretty good summaries of the movie's plotline out there

Ballon-chasseur: une vraie histoire de sous-estimé: could not possibly be a more literal translation of Dodgeball: a true underdog story. And that aught me that our "Balle au prisonnier" (prisoner's ball) is called "ballon-chasseur" (hunter-ball) in Quebec, I guess.

Brillantine = old-fashioned word for "grease" that no sane French people less than 60 year old would ever use. You guessed it, this is Grease

Ferrovipathes: my favorite. I had never heard this word, but I assume it means "trainspotter". This is the québecois title for Trainspotting, obviously, and I think I will use only this one from now on, "trainspotting" is just too common after all. This one sounds like it was made up just for the occasion.